Sunday, February 9, 2014
Listening # 4: Love and its Permutations (due Wednesday, Feb. 12)
This lecture is from the Open University at Yale. So for this lecture, consider yourselves students of Yale, one of the finest universities in the world.
Our subject this week is love, in honor of Valentine's Day.
The song that he quotes in the lecture, if you're interested is "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad," by Meatloaf: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5hWWe-ts2s
For this post, I want you to write something that you find surprising or troubling in Professor Salovey's lecture. If nothing surprises or troubles you, then write what you find interesting.
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The 3 factors of love which he mentioned in the lecture I agree that are necessary in a relationship in order to be deep and solid.I had listened something similar before in a lecture of Semiology of life. There also mentioned that complete love is formed by intimacy, passion and commitment.
ReplyDeleteI liked this lecture because is talking about love but in a rational way.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the psychological analysis of the love. I agree with all the categories that were mentioned on the lecture. That idealization about love that movies and romantic histories have created in our mind doesn't let us to be objective when it is about relationships. The failure of many relationship start when this relation is just based in a hunch.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have known completely about definition of love. Intimacy, passion and commitment are three essential components of love. In my opinion, love not only needs time to build up but also understand and share secret information to each other. Love at the first sight is not always the case which come up to get married. Sometimes , love can built on belief and trust. Moreover, I like the way the professor gave the lecture because he taught with enthusiatic emotion . He put his effort to make the love lecture more exciting.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I have to start saying that I really loved this lecture. The way he pointed out the different and important aspects of love, for some reason entertained me a lot. Now that i think about it, i have to agree that he's right in what he's saying. If you don't have the three different pats of love, such as: "Passion, Intimacy and Committeemen" in your relationship, it's not real love. The problem is that people nowadays are so concerned about finding someone, that they forget to see the big picture. What I mean is that people assume it's love when they feel comfortable, but sometimes it's more than just that.
ReplyDeleteLove is more than just being best-friends, having sex, or just feeling safe with that person. Love is being committed and faithful to who you are with, being close and bonding with that same person, and also having the physical attraction. In my opinion, if you put all of them together you'll have a perfect relationship. They say two is enough and three is too much, well in this case three is just perfect.
i do not agree that love can be categorized, i think what he explained is relationships not love, he stated different kinds of relationships in a scientific way, divided in three.
ReplyDeleteLove is not only when you have these three concepts but having much more .
I agree with you, but I´d rather not to talk about the deep argument in the end. xD
DeleteAgreed !
DeleteThere are more factors that cause love or take part in a relationship. However, the talk was pretty intersting and he could categorize relationships in a way to explain it funny. I´m sure that a deeper research could have done or maybe they did it, but they shared those categories just to make it easier to explain.
ReplyDeleteIf a relationship depends in these 3 factors (mainly), I will focus more when I´m taking with a girl to see whether she might be the love of my life or not.
Love is a controversy issue, it is difficult to talk about, and even to be defined. I respect his opinion and the research which was done. However, according to my opinion, it can not be reduced in just three concepts. Actually, love involves much more issue that we can imagine. Love is directly related to our experience, and also to our imagination. Who have never been in love with someone? Who have never been devastated because someone important was gone? If we have had this experience before, we can summarize a little bit about it. And for those that have never been involved with, at least one time, will be. In my opinion, there is Love when you look into the eyes person and you can see yourself; like being the other side of the river, but never so far. It is real!!
ReplyDeleteWith this lecture, I reviewed all of love I once have in my life. then, I found them may not be love. The three components, intimacy, passion, commitment are really essential elements for a relationship. My own experience told me it is very hard to gather all of them. The hardest part may be commitment which is the most important bonding to connect love. It is just too easy to say,'I love you", but hard to keep saying it forever. The speaker was clever that he did not mention how the three components interact each other. We have many impressive love stories because love can be generated from every situation.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all,I really love this lecture about love.He also mix the psychological analysis into it.What's more it is also full of fun.what impressed me most is that he said Intimacy,passion,commitment are the three requirement that show you really have love.I couldn't agree more!
ReplyDeleteWow... I'm quite amazed. The way he summarized the concept of love. It is just amazing....:
ReplyDeleteLOVE = INTIMACY(1) + PASSION (2) + COMMITMENT(3)
What happen if we only have 1 element:
(0) = No Love
(1) = Liking (Friendship)
(2) = Infatuated Love (Related with body's attraction)
(3) = Empty Love (They don't share emotions anymore, don't feel attracted. They're only committed for some reason that can be children, financial. It can be the last stage of a relationship or the first one - in countries where the marriage is arranged).
What happen these elements are permutated:
(1) + (2): Romantic Love (The way usually a Relationship starts)
(1) + (3): Companion Friend (It's your Best Friend)
(2) + (3): Fatuous Love (The main goal in this relationship is sex)
So if we want a real love we must combine all these three elements:
LOVE = (1) + (2) + (3)
wow... I still amazed... :)
It looks like you took perfect notes for everyone, Leni :D
Deletewait a second, if he is talking about the love which we use for romeo&juliet, so Im not going to comment anymore because he is totally out of topic. or if he is just trying to describe the love which we use,and already messed up, in daily conversations such as 'I love my car/cat', 'I love you' then I can criticize it. The impressive lovers become a part of or a side/half of the other. so we cannot categorize such a scientific topics. as a professor he should be respectful to the topics which is beyond the science. even lovers themselves found it hard to describe that feelings how can we do? mostly lovers illustrated love instead of describe it such as one lover illustrated love as a candle's fire, if you try to catch it you may turn it off. as Sophia mentioned the lecturer tried to describe in a rational way which killed the love
ReplyDeletegoing out of topic I better stop. But at least I am sure that describing the love fade the glory, fabulousness and mystery of real love. I love u guys:)
DeleteLove is a feeling. And actually, I don't think that we could define love in such a logical way that the professor did in this talk.
ReplyDeleteLove at first sight is still love. Maybe it won't last long, but at that moment, you've got the feeling that you can see through that person's mind and heart, and so does he; you find yourself attracted by him, and want to be closer to him; and also, you want these moments to last forever.
In my naive way of thinking, first comes love, then comes intimacy, passion, commitment and many other emotions. It's not like when you want to share your thought with someone, want to be with them, and want to claim that you belong together, you're in love. Let's take a look at an old couple who get married for many years, have many children, and now they are at the edge of their life, sitting side by side, watching sunset, no words are used, no sexual desires are raised, no relationship is needed to be stated. Even a little child can tell how much they love each other.
Love is the only feeling that could bring us all the sentiments in the world, no matter that they positive or negative. People can be all excited, lonely, cheerful, passionate, hurtful, jealous, insecure, crazy, brave, lazy, funny, weak, everything, only when they are in love. So is it a little bit inappropriate to talk about just 3 components of love and say that is enough?
Love is always believed to be complicated, but it should be the most natural thing. Like you are supposed to be together, no reluctance. Like you eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are sleepy, cry when you are sad, smile when you are happy. And you stand by someone when you love him.
The men's target is women. Love can be defined as a romantic interest between men and women. I implied no between same gender. 3 basic elements in which love is built: feeling ,patient and engagement constituting the fundamental rules of love.As soon as one compound misses, the law is broken; thus, this product is not called love anymore .
ReplyDeleteI think that was a good lecture. what i find it intersting about that lecture are the three essential components of love Intimacy, passion and commitment.
ReplyDeleteI've never thought about love as the definition mentioned in the lecture; however, there is some truth in that particular theory. Intimacy, passion and commitment are the most important requirements on any relationship but there might be another factor that can affect your perception of love. In my personal opinion, This lecture was reveling to me because I never thought was it means techniquely being "Inlove" and after this lecture I can be related with one of the definition he told that was called complete love.
ReplyDelete